We’ve had some pretty unique energy the last few weeks. Have you felt it? Have you had any important lessons come up? If so, how did you do?
On September 17th, we had a full moon & partial lunar eclipse in the sign of Pisces. A few days later, on the 22nd, we had the autumn equinox with significant planetary aspects in Jupiter and Pluto. If you’re into astrology at all, you can probably infer a lot of implied energy just from those 2 sentences. I only have a basic knowledge of the stars, but I can tell you that it was packed with some uncomfortable – but very necessary and long overdue – lessons and shadow work. Oof! Not fun! 🤨
This complex mix of energy highlighted where my relationships – with others and myself – may be out of alignment and where I can be better balanced. The full moon in Pisces (my moon sign too! 🥴 Double whammy!!) shed light on some uncomfortable areas that I had been pretending were ok. Then it threw in some extra intuition and emotions just to keep it interesting. 😤
One relationship in particular, was an interesting ‘friendship’ I have/had with someone who I can tell, REALLY doesn’t like me that much. (It’s not easy being an extreme empath!) It’s a weird relationship, obviously, but basically – I think the empath in me sees the hurt she is in and for some reason, I think I can help. Anyways, she recently had some big life events happen and I thought it would be nice to provide a meal. Only instead of just saying ‘thank you’, I heard backhanded comments about needing to add a protein and salad to complete the homemade spaghetti my 5 ⭐️ husband had made. Then there was some wildly opposing viewpoints freely flung in my direction, that she knows directly and negatively affect my family member. It made me stop and ask: Why am I still doing this to myself?
I’ve known this relationship has run its course for years now. In fact, I had been praying for an easy end to this relationship. One without drama and fireworks, and preferably not of my doing. But I had to ask myself: Why do I hang on so long when I am clearly not valued? Is it because of my need to help others? And why does it take my family being slighted before I have had enough? On the flip side, why do I feel the need to interject myself when the person hasn’t asked for, and may not want or even really need my help?
Finally seeing your own worth is liberating, but I wasn’t prepared for the relationships in my life to start falling away. When you’ve been a walking door mat your whole life, learning to set boundaries is HARD! And it’s bound to piss people off, especially those who benefited from your lack of them.
I am an empath, a healer, and I really want to help people! But I am definitely far from perfect and I’m always on the lookout for issues where my ego tries to sneak in. (Which is pretty much all the time.😕) Needing to be appreciated for my efforts, or recognized for my ideas and work, is an uncomfortable area of shadow work for me as of late. But I am learning to navigate the fine line of ego vs. self-worth. I am learning it’s not acting in ego to expect to be treated with common courtesy. I am learning that I don’t need to come to the rescue for that one friend that only texts when they need something. Instead, I can put that energy into the relationships where I am the one lacking time, attention, or appreciation of another.
My circle is definitely getting smaller. Spirit tells me – it’s time to trim the fat so that more aligned, higher vibing friendships can come in. Living the spiritual life can be a bit lonely for me sometimes and life lessons are HARD no matter who you are! With all the years of hard work on my healing journey, I honestly thought it would get easier but it hasn’t. Scrubbing away at the deeply embedded parts of my ego is PAINFUL!! But trusting in Spirit, finding my wings, and looking back to see how far I’ve come from who I once used to be – is enough to make me want to keep growing!
Which is a good thing I guess, considering eclipse season is just getting started. 🌘😱
©09/2024
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